No words..

Today was incredible..

This week was the beginning of teen weeks at Camp T and I have never been more impressed and more excited about a group of 15-17 year old girls. We had devotions tonight for over 1 1/2 hours and can tell that these girls are searching and genuinely excited about finding a freedom in Christ. My heart broke tonight for these young women and can not even explain to you how excited I am that the Lord is using my co-counselor's and I this week.

Beyond the details, however, I have been confirmed over and over again about my passion for kids and this generation. I know, without a doubt, that I am in love with what this summer has been all about. I'm in love with pouring into kids and believing in their potential. More importantly, I'm in love with places like Camp T that are all about being yourself and tearing off the masks that we all place. I've never been somewhere where I felt like being vulnerable is 100% accepted and asked for. There is something about this place that shouts to kids that it's okay to be who you were created to be. I love it.

I am in such a bittersweet state right now. Knowing that the end of my time here is coming completely breaks my heart...seriously, it feels like I'm breaking up with camp. However, there is something exciting about going home and heading back to school for one more great year with my friends. Either way, today is where I am, and I can't stop smiling! The Lord has done some amazing things...and I'm ready and waiting for what's next. I can say, however, that coming back next summer is exactly what I'm hoping for..

still loving today.

There is NO ONE like You.

This past week has been absolutely incredible when it comes to my cabin. I have loved every single minute of hanging out with my girls and figuring out the best ways to make them understand God's love for them.

Last night was the high of my week as I got to hang out with them without their "full-time" counselors. We sat in our room and talked about what it really means to be beautiful and how being yourself and being confident in that is the most beautiful thing ever. These girls are 8 and 9 years old and were seriously understanding that Jesus looks on the inside and not the outside. If only I would have grasped that when I was 8 years old...

I have never been more blessed and can not wait to see what the next few weeks look like now that the teenagers are coming. I am super excited and a little nervous as this brings a whole new dynamic to camp. Either way, I know the Lord is here and ready to move in the hearts of these teens as well as my own. Camp Timberline is honestly an anointed place. The Lord is working and it is so exciting to be used.


As far as I go...Not sure where the Lord is taking me personally right now, but I have never been more ready to follow blindly.

loving today.

loving it.

I 100% absolutely and completely love it here. I can't think of a place I'd rather be right now than exactly where I'm at. The Lord is SO good...His sovereignty is unbelievable. The sights, the beauty..but most importantly the people are what I love most. I've made some friendships that I know will last forever. I'm so thankful for the Lord and His timing in my life...He really does know what He's doing :)

Here's to hoping the next five weeks go as slow as possible...

Terrified.

So...I'm terrified of flying.
I leave for Colorado in less than two days and I am freaking out about the flight. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than ready to be outta here and on with a new slice of life but I am absolutely and positively scared of flying.

I guess I just needed to get that out...I'd appreciate your prayers!

Thanks...and that's all :)

I went to a Shane and Shane concert today and after listening to one of my favorite songs...I decided that I wanted to put it up as a prayer for my life:

"Holy design,
This place in time.
That I might seek and find my God, my God.

Lord I want to yearn for You,
I want to burn with passion,
Over You and only You.
Lord I want to Yearn.

Your joy is mine,
Yet why am I fine?
With all my singing and bringing you grain,
In light of Him.

Lord I want to yearn for You,
I want to burn with passion,
Over You and only You.
Lord I want to yearn.

Oh You give life and breath,
Through Him You give all things.
In Him we live and move,
That's why I sing"

I love these lyrics because they aren't implying that I've "gotten it." They aren't implying that I go throughout my day completely innocent of straying away from my God. What they do imply is that my heart wants to learn how to yearn for Christ and that I do have a desire to be consumed with a burning passion for Him. That's why this is my prayer for now and forever. I never want to stop desiring a passionate relationship with Him.

summer oh eight

i've been sitting here typing and retyping what i want to say...explaining where i'm at.

honestly, i can't figure it out...

hoping for this summer to bring a lot..
growth.
learning.
pain.
perseverance.
movement.
consistency.
relationships.
understanding

If I had to try and describe where I want to be at the end of the summer..it's here:
I want my perspective and my mindset to be completely shifted from thinking about myself to thinking about others. I want to have a better picture on how the Lord plans to use me to love the world to Heaven. I want to be reminded that a lot of things I worry about..aren't eternal and that the things I often don't remember..are. If I were to put this simply, I want to be a better person; I want to be more like Christ.


My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me.

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
-barlow girl

Inconsistent.

I am the most inconsistent person that I know...

One week I am doing great, loving the Lord and showing Him the same. Then the next week comes and I decide that I am too busy or too tired to open my Bible. Why do I do this to myself? I see what I need to do and then don't do it...sounds familiar.

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

This verse from Romans 7 is exactly how I feel right now. In my head, I know that I want to be with the Lord and follow His path every single day but...why do I struggle every day with simple things like reading His Word and talking to Him? That has to be the other law at work within.

I hope to start recognizing the evil within me and ridding myself of it. I know it is going to take a lot of effort and probably even some uncomfortable moments but I hate being so inconsistent. The Lord waits on me every day for me to show up and I continue to let Him down...even though I KNOW what I'm doing; I sit and actually know that I am choosing to give that part of my day up..the part that includes my Maker. I absolutely hate the human part of me and know that my next step in my journey is figuring out how to tighten my slave chains that are connected with Christ while trying to rid myself of the other chains that have been holding me back for too long.

Well...this is where I'm at.
Frustrated but eager to succeed...ready to step it up and show up every day.