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Lord, what's next?

I made it.

Well, it's true...I'm old. Today was the day I officially turned 23 - I'm not sure why I feel sentimental about my age all of a sudden but I do, 23 seems pretty old to me.

Moving on...my birthday today has been one of my favorites. My parents flew out to see me and we spent basically all day hiking in the national park :) After that we went into town and ate my birthday dinner....and just enjoyed being together. Gosh - what a great day.

Anyways, I was thinking about my past year and realized how blessed my 22nd year of life has been...in fact after journaling about it, I wanted to share a list of incredible things that the Lord did for me over the past 365 days:

1. I had an incredible senior soccer season. We made it all the way to NAIA nationals and had the best team chemistry I had experienced in years...we really did play for an audience of One.

2. I was able to live with 5 incredible women for my last stand at IWU...so many awesome memories.

3. I ran my 11th half marathon with my mom, dad, and big brother!

4. Had the chance to skip a class or two and make a solo road trip to Nashville to visit Abby...soooooo much fun.

5. Backpacked the Grand Canyon. Enough said.

6. Graduated college :) With two degrees mind you...neither of which I am using right now.

7. Got to spend the first few months of my summer with my best friend AFTER we road tripped to Colorado from Michigan and were able to see Ryan, Bethany and Mason on the way.

8. Got to serve the Lord at 9400 ft. on top of a mountain surrounded by the Rocky Mountain National park for the entire summer. Played sports and loved on kids all summer long.

9. Found my first job after college to be at the same camp...gotta love Camp T.

10. Fell more in love with my Savior...one more year closer to Him and one more year to continue help me realize that He's got my life under control.

Soooo...this is just a glimpse of what the past year has been for me..but needless to say, it has been unforgettable. I am in love with life and completely trust the Lord's hand on my future. Heck, if my 22nd year of life could get me here...I can't wait to see where the Lord takes me on my 23rd ride around the sun :)

Living a life that matters

I had a week off from camp and I flew home(ish) to Indiana and loved every minute. My roommate was incredible and I even got to go home and hang out with my parents. Anyways, while I was at her house I went for a much needed run..

This time my iPod was playing a sermon by Francis Chan and the sermon is titled Living a Life that Matters. I didn't finish the whole thing but the beginning was all I needed to hear that day. Francis was talking about what the title of his sermon meant and it blew me away.

He was talking about living like Christ and how He mattered wherever He went. Jesus mattered when He was flipping the temple tables just like He mattered when He was teaching His disciples. Jesus was noticed without trying...His relationship and love for His father caused other people to be affected by His presence or lack thereof.

I was thinking about this and it really paralleled with what the Lord has been teaching me lately. He has been showing me that I am at a point in my life where daily life is a choice that I get to make. I'm not in a place where life is kind of planned out for me...I can choose to stay at camp or go into town; I can choose to strike up a conversation with a cashier or I can walk by like the other hundreds of people that day. Life right now is pretty open ended and full of choices that will take me one way or another.

So, when I think about this sermon and my life...I realized that I want to matter. I know that sounds funny and kind of obvious but I have never really thought about all of the ways I can live out my faith that I have ignored so much in my life. I can matter to that cashier that hates her job. I can matter to that family that is walking around town wondering where a good restaurant is. I can approach every situation, regardless of how small, like Jesus would; in a way that matters and leaves a situation better then it was.

All that to say, I want to matter - I want to live my life in a way that it affects people simply because my relationship with my Savior is real.

I guess you could say that "what would Jesus do" came back into style for me.

Hurricane.

Well, I have been learning a ton lately. One of which is this: Life is obviously different when I haven't been intentional in my pursuit of Him. Obvious, right? I know.

I have been down the past few days and I'm not sure why it always seems to take me awhile to realize why. Anyways, this song by Jimmy Needham has been my saving prayer for my life..every word is exactly what I desire.

I have built a city here 

Half with pride and half with fear 

Just wanted a safer place to hide 

I don’t want to be safe tonight 

I need You like a hurricane 

Thunder crashing, wind and rain 

To tear my walls down 

I’m only Yours now 

I need you like a burning flame 

A wild fire untamed 

To burn these walls down 

I’m only Yours now 

I’m only Yours now 

I am Yours and You are mine 

You know far better than I 

And if destruction’s what I need 

Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee 

Yes, I’ll receive it Lord from Thee 

And it’s Your eye in the storm 

Watching over me 

And it’s Your eye in the storm 

Wanting only good for me 

And if You are the war 

Let me be the casualty 

‘Til I’m Yours alone 

I am only Yours 

I am Yours alone, Lord 

I have an entire city inside that is built out of those two things: pride and fear. Every time I listen to this song I am convicted about how I still don't think I have let the Lord totally break through. I am terrified. 

The other line that screams at me every time is this: "And if destruction's what I need, then I'll receive it Lord from Thee." This prayer is something that is huge to me. If destruction is what I need - then okay, bring on the rain. 

Anyways, this song has been something that I have truly grown to love and pray and hope that the Lord will consume me like that; like a hurricane. As long as He is the eye in the storm, I'm ready for my walls to be torn down so that I can truly be built up in Him.

it's about time..

Well, it's been far too long since I've blogged about life.

I've been up here for over 3 weeks and it has been incredible. I absolutely love camp...there is just something special about this place. It isn't that life is easier or less stressful but it's like things just aren't as big of a deal here; life just moves and you just go with it.

The first week was herd week and it was a lot of planning and writing devotionals as a staff. It was so much fun that week to get to know our leadership staff and to start making relationships with these people who are part of the camp t family.

The second week was by far my favorite though...I got to finally meet all of the girls that are in my covenant group. We got to live together for 10 days and I honestly was blown away. I did not know it was possible to love that many people in that short amount of time as much as I do. Every girl in my group is uniquely different but they all get along so well. It's seriously amazing. We got the chance to go through all of our testimonies and it was so incredible to hear how the Lord worked in each of their lives. I have never felt more burdened in my life; I didn't know that it was possible to want to take away someone's pain and feelings of unworthiness as much as I wish I could.
I can honestly say that I am going to be lifelong friends with so many of them...and I can't wait.

Tonight is the last night of Week 1 (the most fun!) and it went pretty well for it being the first week. There are things we are learning as a staff and things that will have to be adjusted but overall it went great! I am loving the sports side of camp and love being active with the kids...they are seriously so much fun. I wish I could remember all of the hysterical quotes that have already been said.

Life on top of the mountain is just as sweet as I remember. I am in love with this place and can't believe I get to be here for an extra season; God is so good.

Other than that, I am learning a ton and love opening up my Bible and journal in the mornings with my cup of coffee in hand. I'm pumped for what the Lord has in store because I'm sure it's going to blow my mind.

"'cause I was already gone.."

I leave tomorrow! Colorado, here I come :)

Abby and I are heading out for a fun road trip and report to camp on Monday..can't wait.

There is potential for another blog that Abby and I will be sharing throughout camp but if that happens there will be another update! If not, I'll be periodically blogging here.

No cell phone service and emailing is limited which is probably one of my favorite things about camp...So, still feel free to call or email but know that a response might be a few days!

I'll keep you updated on what the Lord is up to :)

So as my parents and I were driving home tonight from a birthday night for my sister and dad...Flat Top Grill and Coldstone, I heard this song on the radio:

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way

_Matthew West

This song describes where I'm at..
Just wanted to make better sense of my previous blog..this is my heart and my prayer.