it's about time...

I'm just going to start right in...

I decided tonight during my quiet times that I hate how I've been "doing" Christianity. I want to start really searching and really finding out about the reality of Christ. I feel like I've known about Him for years and years and yet, don't know Him hardly at all. If I knew who He was and is, obviously my spiritual life as well as all the other areas of my life would be totally transformed...but they're not. I'm sick of being the "good" Christian girl and doing my devotions and trying to lead others...I want to really get it. I want to KNOW Christ. I want to find and comprehend His characteristics and His love for me. I want to understand what He did for me and how he cares for me. I want...need..no, have to figure this out in order to ever fully grasp who Christ is and what He is all about. If my life is about imitating Him...it's time I start really understanding who He is.

Obviously I have a long way to go...but hopefully..I will be journaling each step. I pray for growth but mostly for clarity and understanding...