As I continue reading Job, there seem to be just short verses that catch my eye. This time it was in the second chapter, the 9th and 10th verses.
"His wife said to him, 'Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!' He replied, 'You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?'"
These two verses are incredible. Not only am I amazed at Job's response, but I have to admit that I feel for this woman as well. I can't imagine being the mom of a household that has been blessed and within what seemed like a split second it was entirely gone. I have to believe that most of our reactions would be in line with hers. "Are you serious? Are you really trying to stay faithful when the Lord just allowed the most intense and inconsolable pain to enter into the depths of your life and soul?" I have to admit that even though I look down on this woman as I first study the book of Job, that she is a lot more like the common Joe of our day. Giving up on God the minute he takes away the smooth sailing of life. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if churches today would start preaching the Truth. If churches today would start letting people know that life is NOT going to be a breeze and that we are supposed to REJOICE in our sufferings. I wonder..
Looking past Job's wife, his response might be one of the most wise and profound verses in the Bible. (In my opinion.) In fact, this verse is what I have been struggling with for the past week. I have been trying to learn that this heart break is something that I need to accept because I want to be the kind of Christian that loves the Lord on good and bad days. I want to be a woman that understands that there is more to life than what I can see and feel...that there really is a greater work going on and I should be rejoicing in the fact that I get to be a part of it.
I also love the way that Job phrases his response to his wife. He makes it sound so logical; so basic. He makes it seem like it is a part of our Christian faith that should come naturally to each and every one of us. Where in the Bible does God promise us an EASY life? Where in the Bible does God promise us NO PAIN? I don't think so! Paul says that to live is Christ and to DIE is gain. The Bible says that we should rejoice in our sufferings because they produce perseverance, character, and hope.
I love Job. I love that he went through a time in his life that could not have gotten much worse and never sinned against God. Job proves that it can be done. Job proves that this kind of life can exist. This is why I keep hoping that I will become a little more like Job every day. I want to get to the point where my soul is thankful for trials because it means that the Devil knows I'm a threat. I want to get to the point where I can live my life in a way that understands that it is my duty to not just accept good from the Lord but also trouble.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
A New Kind of Worship
The other night, my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me. It rocked my world. I saw it coming...but still couldn't prepare my heart. Anyways...this is just the foundation for where this blog is coming from: the deepest pain I've ever felt.
Last night I was sitting on my bathroom floor due to the fact that my roommate was sleeping...and I was writing in my journal, crying, praying, and reading from the book of Job. I decided that I wanted to read something that felt applicable and figured that reading about the life of a man that lost way more than me was the best bet.
So I read through the first chapter and was totally taken by surprise. I mean, just in the first test by Satan..Job lost all of his donkey's, sheep, camels, and to add to the loss of his entire income security...he lost all of his sons and daughters. THEY DIED. I mean, how could Job not be out of control angry? How could Job not stare up at the sky and be so mad at God that he questions everything? But get this..not only at the end of the chapter does it say "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." As if this weren't enough...my eyes were drawn to a few verses above this, verse 20 where it states, "At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship..."
HE FELL TO THE GROUND IN WORSHIP.
This is so unreal to me. The first thing that Job did was worship. He worshipped through his pain. He worshipped because of his pain. His first reaction to this pain was to worship. I can't help but think that there is a very real lesson to learn from Job here. I'm suffering right now...I am in pain. But I can tell you that my first reaction was definitely not to worship. However, after reading this and attending the first night of our spiritual emphasis week...I am beginning to understand this whole concept. For one of the first times in my life I am beginning to see how worship is more than just music...that it really is all of life. I want to learn what came so naturally to Job. I want to worship through my pain.
I want to painfully figure out what it really means to worship...and I am beginning to mean it when I pray that I will not be relieved from this pain until I figure some of these lessons out. It's time for me to wake up and grow up..and I want to take every second of this hardship in doing just that: really becoming the woman that the Lord wants me to be.
Last night I was sitting on my bathroom floor due to the fact that my roommate was sleeping...and I was writing in my journal, crying, praying, and reading from the book of Job. I decided that I wanted to read something that felt applicable and figured that reading about the life of a man that lost way more than me was the best bet.
So I read through the first chapter and was totally taken by surprise. I mean, just in the first test by Satan..Job lost all of his donkey's, sheep, camels, and to add to the loss of his entire income security...he lost all of his sons and daughters. THEY DIED. I mean, how could Job not be out of control angry? How could Job not stare up at the sky and be so mad at God that he questions everything? But get this..not only at the end of the chapter does it say "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." As if this weren't enough...my eyes were drawn to a few verses above this, verse 20 where it states, "At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship..."
HE FELL TO THE GROUND IN WORSHIP.
This is so unreal to me. The first thing that Job did was worship. He worshipped through his pain. He worshipped because of his pain. His first reaction to this pain was to worship. I can't help but think that there is a very real lesson to learn from Job here. I'm suffering right now...I am in pain. But I can tell you that my first reaction was definitely not to worship. However, after reading this and attending the first night of our spiritual emphasis week...I am beginning to understand this whole concept. For one of the first times in my life I am beginning to see how worship is more than just music...that it really is all of life. I want to learn what came so naturally to Job. I want to worship through my pain.
I want to painfully figure out what it really means to worship...and I am beginning to mean it when I pray that I will not be relieved from this pain until I figure some of these lessons out. It's time for me to wake up and grow up..and I want to take every second of this hardship in doing just that: really becoming the woman that the Lord wants me to be.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Colossians 1:18
As I was reading tonight, I continued on in my trek through Colossians. However, I had to stop after verse 18. I have never realized this...well, I underlined it once before but do not remember learning it.
"And He is the head of the body, the church;..."
I remember growing up and hearing all of those stories about the body of Christ and how without a foot we couldn't walk or without an ear we could not hear. However, I never remember hearing this kind of lesson in my younger years. The Lord is the head of the body of Christ. We can not be an eye because He is the omnipotent God. We can not be the mouth because it is His message that we are giving...not anyone else's. He is the head. He is the "brains" behind the rest of the body.
Another way that I saw this tonight for the first time is that whatever part of the body that I am, is not in charge of another. It is the brain (God) that is behind why the body does what it does...but I am a part of the body that does what I am told. I am part of the active body of Christ because God is telling me to take a step or to hold a child's hand. Whatever I do, I have to start looking at my life this way. I have to start realizing that God is the brains and I am nothing more than an obedient foot or hand.
I wonder what would happen if every follower of Christ would admit this; if every Christ follower would admit the fact that Christ is the one in charge and we are the parts of the body under submission to His power.
"And He is the head of the body, the church;..."
I remember growing up and hearing all of those stories about the body of Christ and how without a foot we couldn't walk or without an ear we could not hear. However, I never remember hearing this kind of lesson in my younger years. The Lord is the head of the body of Christ. We can not be an eye because He is the omnipotent God. We can not be the mouth because it is His message that we are giving...not anyone else's. He is the head. He is the "brains" behind the rest of the body.
Another way that I saw this tonight for the first time is that whatever part of the body that I am, is not in charge of another. It is the brain (God) that is behind why the body does what it does...but I am a part of the body that does what I am told. I am part of the active body of Christ because God is telling me to take a step or to hold a child's hand. Whatever I do, I have to start looking at my life this way. I have to start realizing that God is the brains and I am nothing more than an obedient foot or hand.
I wonder what would happen if every follower of Christ would admit this; if every Christ follower would admit the fact that Christ is the one in charge and we are the parts of the body under submission to His power.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Colossians 1:1-14
I started reading from the book of Colossians today during my quiet times and came across something that I have missed before; or at least the importance of it. In the tenth verse, Paul says that he and Timothy are praying for the people so that they "may live a life worthy of the Lord." This statement obviously implies that we can live out our days in a way that is unworthy of the Lord. This verse stopped for a bit but then I kept reading and came up with the answer to the question that I had begun asking: What does a life that is worthy of the Lord look like?
Verses 10-12 give a list of 4 things that constitute a life worthy of the Lord. These four things are:
1. "bearing fruit in every good work"
2. "growing in the knowledge of God"
3. "being strengthened with all power...so that you may have great endurance and patience"
4. "and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..."
After reading these four "requirements" for worthy life, my eyes were blown open. How often do I even think about these things let alone practice them with my whole heart? Am I ever consciously wondering if I am placing myself in the position to bear fruit? Am I in the Word every day in order to know God better? Am I praying for strength and wisdom so that I can make it through the race? Am I thanking my Father for saving me from the darkness of evil? Unfortunately, the majority of the time, I would have to answer these questions with a "no."
As I continue to sit and ponder these four things, I am trying to figure out a way that I can begin practicing all of these so that may live a life that is worthy. After thinking about these things, I have decided that the second one is something that I am working on since I have already set myself a goal for this year. However, the first "requirement" is something that I really need to start considering. How often am I thinking about bearing fruit and furthering the Kingdom? However, I'll have to get back to you once I figure out how I plan to place myself in a position for this.
These are the things on my mind right now...I'm working on losing myself and my habits that make life seem worth living and pushing myself towards a life that is actually worthy of the Lord.
Verses 10-12 give a list of 4 things that constitute a life worthy of the Lord. These four things are:
1. "bearing fruit in every good work"
2. "growing in the knowledge of God"
3. "being strengthened with all power...so that you may have great endurance and patience"
4. "and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..."
After reading these four "requirements" for worthy life, my eyes were blown open. How often do I even think about these things let alone practice them with my whole heart? Am I ever consciously wondering if I am placing myself in the position to bear fruit? Am I in the Word every day in order to know God better? Am I praying for strength and wisdom so that I can make it through the race? Am I thanking my Father for saving me from the darkness of evil? Unfortunately, the majority of the time, I would have to answer these questions with a "no."
As I continue to sit and ponder these four things, I am trying to figure out a way that I can begin practicing all of these so that may live a life that is worthy. After thinking about these things, I have decided that the second one is something that I am working on since I have already set myself a goal for this year. However, the first "requirement" is something that I really need to start considering. How often am I thinking about bearing fruit and furthering the Kingdom? However, I'll have to get back to you once I figure out how I plan to place myself in a position for this.
These are the things on my mind right now...I'm working on losing myself and my habits that make life seem worth living and pushing myself towards a life that is actually worthy of the Lord.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
2008.
It was time for a new year to begin. I needed something to boost my efforts. I've never been that big on New Year's resolutions, but this year I decided that I am going to give it a try. I figure that this could be the thing to jump start my first real search to find out who Christ really is. See, I started this blog a long time ago but it is just now that I am really seeing that finding reality in Christ is something that I have to do. I have no choice. I am beginning to realize that I was not made for this world and I am desperate to know Christ and His purpose for me. I have finally realized that I have to stop promising that I am going to do something and then after three days go find something else that "feels right." It's time, this year: 2008 will be different.
My New Year's resolution is to not miss one day of my devotions. Whether it is an hour of intense Bible study to 10 minutes of prayer, I have set myself the goal to not miss one single day of spending purposeful time getting to know my Creator a little bit better. This discipline is something that I have struggled with and I am now going to do my absolute best to turn it into a strength. The reason I write this blog is because this is what is going to keep me accountable. Writing down steps in my journey is what is going to keep me pushing forward. One of my favorite verses in the Bible fits perfect for what this year is all about for me:
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..."
(Romans 5:3-5)
This verse is what I want this year to be about. No matter what I am going through, no matter if times are good or if I am suffering, I am going to turn my circumstances into a passionate pursuit and perseverance of Him. Through this, I hope my character is ripped apart and a Godly character is set in place. I want to be broken; I want my present ungodly characteristics to be ripped away so that Christ can replace them and make me who I am really supposed to be. And most of all, I want all of this because once my perseverance is holding strong and my character is being built up, I know that I will, for the first time, really know what true hope is.
It's time. This year, 2008, is a turning point for me. And I can't wait!
My New Year's resolution is to not miss one day of my devotions. Whether it is an hour of intense Bible study to 10 minutes of prayer, I have set myself the goal to not miss one single day of spending purposeful time getting to know my Creator a little bit better. This discipline is something that I have struggled with and I am now going to do my absolute best to turn it into a strength. The reason I write this blog is because this is what is going to keep me accountable. Writing down steps in my journey is what is going to keep me pushing forward. One of my favorite verses in the Bible fits perfect for what this year is all about for me:
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..."
(Romans 5:3-5)
This verse is what I want this year to be about. No matter what I am going through, no matter if times are good or if I am suffering, I am going to turn my circumstances into a passionate pursuit and perseverance of Him. Through this, I hope my character is ripped apart and a Godly character is set in place. I want to be broken; I want my present ungodly characteristics to be ripped away so that Christ can replace them and make me who I am really supposed to be. And most of all, I want all of this because once my perseverance is holding strong and my character is being built up, I know that I will, for the first time, really know what true hope is.
It's time. This year, 2008, is a turning point for me. And I can't wait!
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